Pressure

Forward we move on

Our destination is far

But its within sight

I’m getting reckless

I don’t think before I do

It’s not bravery

It’s the holiday season

I’m running late and it’s raining. Of course. What a cliché. It’s days like these that make you want to just give up. With only four days until Christmas I thought there would be more people here; more judging eyes. There are still plenty of people though. As I run through the rain, I hold the bag close to me so I can protect its contents. Now that I am safe from the rain, I briskly walk to the store, wanting to avoid being seen with that bag by anyone, and God forbid from someone I know. I deny a coupon from the lady who welcomes me into the store, as I assure her that I am not buying anything today. I get in line and wait my turn.

I walk up to the cashier, “ I need to return this.” She shoots me a stunned glare. In her mind, this is buying season. People should not be returning items until the 26^th. Then it would be a mad house, but not now. Even if it was an early Christmas gift, this was clearly not something that I would have received. She inspects the product thoroughly. Perhaps I found a fault with it and simply needed to exchange it. Not the case. I can feel her eyes burning holes into my forehead as she sees the pathetic look on my face. I am pathetic. She gets it now. I can sense her pity as the expression on her face changes from confusion to sympathy. Finally she gives me my money back and I feel a wave of relief.

Then it really hits me. It is the feeling that it is really over. I guess it’s not so bad. It was only a month and I am only a little bit worse off. I guess it’s only a small step backward. I’m a little bit colder and a little more withdrawn. I’m a little more careless and a little more confused. I’m little less trusting and a little less hopeful.

But I still have hope.

I get into my car and Across the Universe by The Beatles comes on shuffle.

“Nothing’s gonna change my world.”

Before I start my homework

My favorite hymn in church this morning, Christmas music playing at Caribou, a lemon blueberry scone, black mango tea that will still be scalding by the time I finish my paper; these are the little things….

Not to mention the big things.

Is it possible for the world to look this way forever?

Sometimes following Jesus means doing the opposite of what the world would say makes sense. Why do so few in the church realize that?